OMG. Yes, that’s all I can say. This whole coronavirus pandemic has been like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. You’ve all seen the movie Groundhog Day, right.? Well that is how it feels to me right now……wake up and do the same thing again and again.
Now some of you all are still working because you are an “essential” worker. I pretty much have never been “essential” in my entire life, so I pretty much accepted the fact that I am not one of them. So homebound I am.
I have fixed the leaky faucet that has been dripping for almost a year now. I was ok with it dripping, but my wife was not. So, fixed it is.
I have cleaned out the garage and organized my tools.
I have cut back the bushes and dug out the weeds. My grass is cut even before it has a chance to get tall.
The new cupboard doors are installed.
My “honey-do” list is completed. So now what do I do?
With a lot of brain power, I wrote down some things that I can do and things that I need to get through this whole social distancing and stay at home thing.
Things that I need that are Essential to Me……
- Steaks – a man’s gotta have that red meat…..
- Potatoes – mashed, baked with butter and sour crème, boiled….I don’t care how they are cooked, I just have to have potatoes….
- Wings – a staple with an ice-cold beer.
- Pork Rines – come on…. it’s the perfect salty treat that pairs well with that ice-cold beer that you
- eat before you eat the wings.
- Chili – my favorite hearty soup- lots of beef, beans, cheese and onions for me.
- Ice cream – come on. It’s the perfect hangover treat the next day.
- The 8-pound bag of the cereal marshmallows. You all know what I am talking about. Lucky Charms cereal just skip the cereal part. I just want the tasty marshmallows.
Things that I can do:
Have adult play with my wife. Even though that’s not on her list at all, I make every possible attempt daily (sometimes more) to get a little from her. Sometimes I succeed, but most of the times I don’t…
Exercise – since the gyms are closed, it’s kind of hard to lift the heavy stuff, unless you are fortunate enough to have the equipment in your house, which I don’t. I get by with some push-ups and other manly things, but I am slowly watching my muscles get a little soft and of course I am watching the scale go up…. damn beer.
Read – The only thing I seem to “read” are the photos of naked women in one of my girlie magazines. Of course, I could go online and watch some adult movies, but I really don’t want to get all the pop ups and possible spam that one can get from doing that.
Eat – Yep. That’s a new hobby in my eyes now. When bored, open up the cupboard or refrigerator and grab the first thing you see. It’s fun. Try it.
I was browsing online, and I found a toy truck that really sparked my interest. It’s called Redneck Roadkill Kudzu Raging Bull. This remote control truck has the looks of the real thing including rusted fenders, hand-weathered body paint, license plates, window banners, a custom grill, beefy off-road tires, and working off-road suspension.
You can deck out this truck with any or all of the ten self-adhering four color decals that are included. You can race to flatten the included break-apart foam varmints, including an armadillo, squirrel, and skunk. Now this sounds like some fun so I ordered it for me to play with. I even ordered one for my wife. She is actually looking forward to playing with me and who knows, it could possibly lead to more “adult play” if you know what I mean
Hang in there everyone. This soon shall be over, and when it does, I am sure the bars, restaurants and of sorts JILL’S GENTLEMEN CLUB will be packed full again with people ready to be entertained!